THE SIN OF GOSSIP
Homily, 02.03.25, 8th Sunday of the Year
What we say reveals our hearts. For most, our heart is neither completely good nor completely evil but a mixed bag. Talking about other people, for example, can be good, when we are positive towards them; but it can be bad when we are being negative, especially when we gossip. Pope Francis has frequently addressed the sin of gossip in his preaching and teaching. In the light of today’s Gospel, it’s a subject worth reflecting on, since it is so common and can do such damage to both the one gossiped about and the one gossiping, not to mention to the whole community.
Last Christmas, the Pope told his Vatican staff to stop the evil of gossiping and instead to speak well of one another. He said that “gossip is an evil that destroys social life, sickens people’s hearts and leads to nothing.” On another occasion, he said that when someone makes a mistake, one of the first things that follows is gossip, through which everyone but the person concerned comes to know the details of the incident. He added that “gossip is a plague on the life of people and communities because it leads to division, it leads to suffering, it leads to scandal; it never helps anyone improve or grow”. Pope Francis urged Christians to ask themselves how they behave with people who wrong them. “Do I keep it inside and accumulate resentment? Do I talk about it behind their backs?” The correct way to deal with the situation, he concluded, is to speak directly, gently and humbly with the offender and seek reconciliation. On other occasions, he described gossip as the opposite of the Gospel because gossip leads us to condemn others whereas the Gospel always welcomes. Commenting on the eighth commandment (thou shalt not bear false witness), the Holy Father denounced gossip as a form of terrorism because gossipers use their tongues to drop a bomb and then leave, and the bomb explodes and destroys reputations everywhere. To gossip is to kill, he said.
There’s no question that gossip hurts neighbours, divides friends and damages reputations and relationships. The Bible labels gossips as untrustworthy and meddlesome and even as worthy of death. And yet we do so often want to gossip. It provides a short burst of guilty pleasure, as one American author puts it. It can be a tasty treat, or a relief from boredom, or a form of showing off that we know something that others don’t. It can be like sniping at our enemies when they don’t know. The sin of gossip can be defined as “bearing bad news behind someone’s back out of a bad heart.” As bad news, it is the opposite of the Good News, the Gospel. If the bad news is actually false, and you know it, then saying it is not just gossip but slander. You could argue that, if it’s true, it’s not gossip, but sharing a shameful truth about someone else can be gossip if you’re motivation is to shame or humiliate them. Because someone does something wrong does not mean that we need to, or get to, talk about it with others. It is better to stop and ask “is this story true? How do I know? Is it mine to tell or someone else’s to tell me?”
Gossip occurs when the person concerned is not present. It is, as the book of Proverbs says, clandestine, hidden, furtive, stealthy and sly. You can catch yourself gossiping when you suddenly lower your voice, look around to see who might be listening, and step closer to your friend before speaking. So, we need to ask: “Would I be telling this story if he were here? Why or why not? Am I hiding this conversation from anyone? Am I ashamed of it? Would I want someone else to talk this way about me if I were not in this room?” Clearly, there are times when we can and must speak about people who are not there: when you call the police to report a crime you witness, or you seek counsel on how to relate to someone. Whether it’s gossip or not will depend on how and why you talk about someone.
The American author I mentioned goes to the core of gossip when he says that gossip arises when something has gone wrong with us at the worshipping core of our beings. Mentioning the words of Jesus in today’s Gospel about speech proceeding from the heart, he says that we speak and listen to gossip because the evil inside us is attracted by the evil inside the other. So, the most important questions we need to ask if we are gossiping are: “Why am I saying this? Are these words loving toward the person I’m talking to and towards the person I am talking about?” In the heat of the moment, it may be hard to do this, but afterwards we will need a prayerful reflection on that, possibly with the help of a wise friend. Some motivations are more evil than others. If it is revenge, for example, or a malicious desire to destroy, then that is worse that being a busybody who is too nosey about other people. Even so, Jesus said that we will give an account for every careless word we have spoken.
Thankfully, our motivations also can be good and loving. It is possible to talk truthfully about other people’s bad news with a desire for their good and a hope for justice to be done. Christ empowers us both to speak edifying words that give grace to those who hear us and to turn conversations away from gossip. He wants us to be bearers of good news, to be upfront with others and to speak and listen out of a changed heart that loves God and loves people who are made in his image. Jesus Himself bore all of our gossip in his body on the tree. He died the death our gossip deserved.
So, let us use our tongue to build up, not to tear down, to heal and not to wound, to delight the Holy Spirit and not the Evil One. Jesus warned us that the measure we use is the measure that we will receive. If we must speak at all, let our speech about the misfortune of others be measured by respect, by love, by compassion and by understanding. A heart which is full of these is a heart pleasing to Christ, for it is like His own. Let’s keep the terrorism of gossip far from our hearts and our lips, so that we can use them instead to give praise and glory to God.
______
As well as personal input, the above homily combines quotes from and references to the teaching of Pope Francis with excerpts and ideas taken from “What is gossip? Exposing a common and dangerous sin” by Matt Mitchell, a Pastor in Lanse, Pennsylvania, sourced on 2nd March 2025 at https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/what-is-gossip
Fr. Peter.